I admit it: I spend basically every waking hour on Twitter. It’s the first thing I check in the morning, it’s the last thing I do before I go to bed, it’s how I pass the time while I’m standing in line at the grocery store.

Thus, I am familiar with the AOT (asshole on Twitter) and have developed an excellent strategy for handling them. I am now going to share this innovative, earth-shattering AOT Elimination Strategy with you. You can thank me later.

Read the rest of this entry »

I do not like New Year’s Eve. It’s a completely arbitrary holiday — congratulations, universe, you will now spend the next six weeks writing down the wrong date on all of your contracts, checks, and correspondence. Other than that, nothing will change. So why, in God’s name, do we all get dressed up in sequins and drink champagne and act like the thing that happens at midnight is going to be some big surprise that you absolutely can not DVR? Read the rest of this entry »