After I voted yesterday, I got a latte, got in my car, and started to cry. Most people who know me well consider me to be oversensitive; I don’t think I am, but I am prone to emotional collapse at inopportune moments, and this was one of them. I cried because I was an introverted doormat of a kid, and I’m quite proud that I’ve grown into a person who has spent the last few months raising my voice for the things that are important to me. I cried because I was relieved and a little terrified. I cried because I wanted to call my mom and talk to her about voting, because she used to take me to the polling stations when I was little (I’m pretty sure she was the one who voted for Ross Perot!) and I couldn’t call her because she’s in Guatemala. I cried because I really wanted to call my dad and tell him how angry and disappointed I am that he, a man with three daughters and a stepdaughter, voted for Romney, who doesn’t support Lilly Ledbetter. Read the rest of this entry »

I admit it: I spend basically every waking hour on Twitter. It’s the first thing I check in the morning, it’s the last thing I do before I go to bed, it’s how I pass the time while I’m standing in line at the grocery store.

Thus, I am familiar with the AOT (asshole on Twitter) and have developed an excellent strategy for handling them. I am now going to share this innovative, earth-shattering AOT Elimination Strategy with you. You can thank me later.

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I do not like New Year’s Eve. It’s a completely arbitrary holiday — congratulations, universe, you will now spend the next six weeks writing down the wrong date on all of your contracts, checks, and correspondence. Other than that, nothing will change. So why, in God’s name, do we all get dressed up in sequins and drink champagne and act like the thing that happens at midnight is going to be some big surprise that you absolutely can not DVR? Read the rest of this entry »

Question: At what point are you too old for Christmas morning to be an embarrassment of riches?

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(movies i fell asleep to this weekend)

Ugh. I caught the flu, you guys. It seems more accurate to say that the flu caught me, though. Pretty sure it caught me while I was in Atlanta last weekend and waited, dormant, to sink its evil vampire fangs into me and ruin my life.

So now I’m going to tell you about my horrible weekend of horribleness, because this is my blog and I do what I want. Read the rest of this entry »

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