when i look back on those neon nights
the leather seat, the passage rite
i feel the heat, i see the light
from miss atomic bomb
making out, we’ve got the radio on
you’re gonna miss me when i’m gone, you’re gonna miss me when i’m gone
the killers :: miss atomic bomb

Last year I made a wish list of stuff I wanted for Christmas, this year I am making a list of stuff I already have but highly recommend for those of you looking for gift ideas this holiday season.  Yay for the spirit of giving!! (See, I’m growing as a person! Also, mom, if you’re reading this, I want cash and Starbucks gift cards but mostly cash.) If I was Oprah, these would be included in my favorite things. (For the record? If I was Oprah, I’d also give you a boat, a trip to Wilmington NC in the autumn, and a twenty-minute conversation with Matt Davis about sex, energy, and aliens.)

Voluspa ceramic candles. Here is how I know I’m not a real grown up: Sometimes I can’t afford food, and also sometimes I spend $30 on a candle. I can hear my mother lecturing me about my spending habits now, but whatever. These ceramic candles smell amazing, last ages, and just look really pretty on a shelf or a dresser. My favorites are the Macaron and Suede Blanco scents. Macaron fills the room with the smell of pastries, but it’s not sickly sweet or too strongly vanilla-scented, which can sometimes be stifling. Suede Blanco has a masculine cologne scent. Basically, it makes your room smell like a really hot sophisticated guy just left, probably on his way to go buy you something fancy. The ceramic candles are really pretty, and once they’re burned down the jars still look nice and are multi-functional. (This is how I justify the expense.) You can use them for pens or makeup brushes or whatever. Plus, when I am trying to make the last twelve dollars in my bank account last until payday, I can still feel fancy burning one of these. Read the rest of this entry »

can i say
i wish that this weather
would never leave
counting crows :: miami

Every year, I fly to NYC for the TV network Upfronts. Upfronts week is when the four major broadcast networks (and their underappreciated adopted misunderstood step-sister who was raised by wolves, The CW) present their upcoming fall programming to the advertisers. It’s about selling their product to the people who buy it, so the networks put on quite a show — they throw big parties, they host red carpets, they make Joshua Jackson take like a zillion pictures with strangers, it’s a whole thing. And it’s a lot of work, a lot of early mornings and late nights and ruining your favorite shoes in the inevitable rain.

It’s simultaneously the best and worst part of my job. Like, don’t get me wrong, it’s super fun, but this year it all made me so tired that when I left NYC, I paid $35 extra to check my carry-on because the thought of actually carrying it on was too exhausting to even imagine.

Anyway, the point of all of those words is this: Upfronts make me tired. But when I get home to LA, TV networks reward my hard work by sending me pilots. I’ve now watched pretty much all the pilots from all the major networks. (I skipped ones I knew I wouldn’t like, like ABC’s “The Neighbors,” a sitcom about extraterrestrials in New Jersey, and CBS’s “Made in Jersey,” a drama about a girl from Jersey who decides to be a big fancy Manhattan lawyer which is just a WILD concept because nobody ever comes to Manhattan from New Jersey because Manhattan is just so glamorous and edgy and blah blah blah not interested. This makes me sound like I hate New Jersey, but I don’t. I totally watch “Jersey Shore.”)

We’re not allowed to actually review the shows yet because some of them may undergo changes by the time they air in the fall, and also because posting reviews now does the networks very little good, promotion-wise. If you run in certain social media circles, you’ve probably seen TV reporters tweeting about the shows, but not saying much of anything substantial. We’re not trying to torture you guys by keeping the goods to ourselves, we’re just not allowed to review right now. It’s sort of an unspoken deal with the networks — if they give us screeners, we’ll adhere to their embargo.

Having seen most of the screeners, I’ve decided which ones I’ll be watching next season, and I figured I’d put together a little schedule — not only for my own peace of mind, but because a lot of you guys share my TV tastes or, for some bizarre reason, trust my TV tastes. Read the rest of this entry »

Almost all of my favorite books fall into the YA category. A psychiatrist (or psychologist? whichever one is allowed to give you drugs) once told me I watch TV and read books aimed at teenagers because I was emotionally damaged at 15 and I subconsciously try to regress to my adolescent state. It’s likely that this is true. It’s more likely that YA books are just really good and that shrink can suck it.

“The Fault in Our Stars” is a really good book. I mean, it might not be for everyone, but it was totally for me. It’s a little overwrought and angsty and very teenagery, so… I don’t know, if you were emotionally damaged as a teenager, you’ll probably love it! And c’mon, who wasn’t emotionally damaged as a teenager.

I don’t know why they don’t put my review-blurbs on book jackets. I’m book-selling gold.

Anyway, I’m not really ready to write a full-on review, because I’m better at talking about books than writing about them, but I wanted to share some snippets with you guys. John Green’s prose is really melodic to me. Every time I read one of his books I want to get his words tattooed all over my body. (I also feel this way about Richard Siken poems, Lucksmiths lyrics, and select quotes from “Life as a House,” but hiding all that ink from my grandparents would just take way too much creativity, so I don’t.)

So, since I can’t get tattooed and I no longer have a physics notebook to write quotes in the margins of, I decided to put my five favorite quotes here. These may be slightly spoilery, but I don’t think they are, I think they’ll just make you want to read the book more. Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t want this post to come off like I don’t like Christmas time, because I do like Christmas time. I love being around my family and I love the cold weather and I love the traveling and I love all the giving (and receiving!) and the general togetherness. But there are moments when all of that stuff is really hard, too. Expectations are high and memories are strong, and there’s no time like Christmas to highlight everything in your life that is changing outside of your control. Read the rest of this entry »

(atlanta, ga; oct. 28, 2011)

Okay, so Nina is not stuff, she is a person, but bear with me — and give me a minute to gush. I’m SO happy today, because I woke up to the news that she was nominated for a People’s Choice Award! This is made even more magical because she wasn’t even on the ballot. Her gazillions of dedicated fans made her the first write-in nominee ever.

I was mad when she wasn’t on the ballot, to be honest. I’m surprised she doesn’t get more awards show love. Given the amount of work she puts into “The Vampire Diaries,” it’s weird that it seems to be the men at her side that get all of the accolades and attention. (Isn’t that just the bitch of it, though? It becomes all about “Team Damon” and “Team Stefan” in the media, and the woman making the choice gets lost in the shuffle.) Nina is incredibly talented. I have moments where I don’t particularly like her character’s choices, but I never have a single moment where Nina’s acting distracts me from a scene. She’s consistently good, and subtle, and she’s amazing at ceding the spotlight to a co-star and letting them shine. That’s one of the most valuable traits in an actor.

In this business you meet a lot of people who put one face forward to the media — they’re all smiles for the camera — and then they turn around and they’re a completely different person behind the curtain. Nina isn’t one of those people. When I have my camera on her, she’s exactly the same as she is hours later at dinner. She’s so genuine. She’ll take the time to record a happy birthday video for a fan after a long night because someone stops her on the street to ask. She’s the kind of person who says thank you when it’s not necessary and she apologizes for things that aren’t her fault, but she’s also the kind of person who isn’t afraid to be blunt when it comes to standing up for a friend or a principle.

Anyway. The point is, I’m a people and I choose Nina and you should, too. The end.

I know this is going to sound like a lie, but it isn’t: I was totally wearing sparkly nail polish before any of you were wearing sparkly nail polish. I’m pretty sure it is the only trend I have ever been ahead of the curve on, but I was definitely rocking sparkly random nails in like, 2008. And I’m only slightly bitter that Lauren Conrad is getting all the credit, because I’m mostly a gracious person.

Seriously, though. I’m not a particularly girly girl. I’m too tall for high heels and I couldn’t put on liquid eyeliner if my life depended on it. Nail polish is my one super-girly indulgence. I know it’s dumb, but sparkly nail polish is just so fun. It’s a really good way to add whimsy to your whole situation.
Read the rest of this entry »

(wilmington, n.c.; sept 22, 2011)

You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves
you, but he loves you. And you feel like you’ve done something terr-
ible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself
a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired. You’re in a car with a beautiful boy,
and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to
choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and
he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your
heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you
don’t even have a name for.

This is from “You Are Jeff,” by Richard Siken, one of my favorite poems and one of my favorite poets. Check it out. It’s a really interesting piece about two versions of one person — maybe a person you used to be and a person you will be — colliding.

I used to read a LOT of poetry in college… I think I started reading it because I just wanted to be the kind of person who sat around a college campus with my back against a tree reading poetry in the fall while wearing a sweater and drinking a latte. Like a person that exists only in a brochure meant to comfort parents. The thing is, the tree was uncomfortable, the grass was wet, and the latte was actually steamed milk with almond because I didn’t touch caffeine in college. It was not genuine at all. The poetry was good, though. I don’t read much anymore but I’ve got a few books I haven’t attacked yet, so maybe this winter.

Below, you can find a link to two of my favorite songs smooshed together in the most perfect way. Listening to this makes me want to drive and drive and drive.

it always seems night endlessly begins and ends and ends and ends
after all of the dreaming, i wanna come back home again
the screen door slams and mary’s dress waves
and like a vision she dances across the porch while the radio plays
counting crows :: rain king / thunder road (live in nyc)

It is damn near impossible to be a successful screenwriter or TV writer in Hollywood.

If you are a successful writer in Hollywood, it means you are exceptional, in that you’re amazing at what you do, but also in the most literal sense of the word: you are the exception. The exception to the rule — that unspoken, “Every single person in this Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf is on a laptop, writing a script, and every single person in this Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf is going to end up settling for Plan B.”

Some days I feel like I am on the right track; like I have the skills, the tools, and the network to be successful. Other days, everything is impossible, and I start calculating the number of motel stops I’d have to make on the drive home to my mom’s house in Connecticut. Those are the days when I watch this YouTube video (seriously, I even have it bookmarked on my phone) and it always makes me happy and hopeful.

If this whole screenwriting thing never comes to fruition, I can totally write a book. Is “Acceptance Speeches I Practiced In The Shower and Never Got To Make” too long to be the title of a book?